Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
We don’t celebrate a lot of the Hallmark ‘holidays’ but this year I had a whole mother’s week rather than just one day. There was a very cute invitation in my son’s pre-school mailbox, inviting all mommies for circle time with our 4 year olds. LF#3 and I had a lovely conversation on how EVERY day is mother’s day in Islam, that’s the way we roll! I so accepted his invitation to his special day.
He was at the door waiting to greet me with a kiss in his lilac colored dress shirt that he ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY did not want to wear but wore for Mama. Ya Rabbi (My Lord)! keep him on the straight and narrow. Ameen.
We sat in a circle and heard poems. Then played with them at their favorite spot in the classroom LF#3’s was….. LEGOs. Among the adorable handmade gifts he had made was this hanging flower pot. There was a card and a flower for my hair which he tucked into my hijab.
Then the kids iced the cookies for their mommies.
But the icing on the cake was when they told the class their favorite food that their mom makes:
These were his exact words: Mac and cheese that comes from the store and it is in a box ready to eat so she doesn’t have to cook it. Wishful thinking sweetie!! I detest mac&cheese from the store, don’t allow it in the house. So much for having an all natural foodie mom!!
My daughters who are 9 and 7 made me breakfast in bed, ALL by themselves. I was so surprised and so proud!! Omelette and Paratha (a flaky flat bread), one whole glass of milk and one of OJ (16oz). The 2 year old ran in to ‘spoil’ their surprise and it took all my motherly control not to rush downstairs, when he said ‘they are cooking eggs, Mama’. Visions of splattered oil and burnt fingers ran through my mind but alls well that ends well. It was perfect, yummy. God Bless them!
My sister just left for back home, so she delivered my mother’s gifts for her- she loved the card that my sister in Seattle and I chose for her. It was her favorite present. It was one of those recordable types and we spend hours laughing hysterically trying to get it just right. Our speeches of love had to be edited to fit into 30 seconds. I found this FUNNY poem which I had to post. Love you Ammi.
After weekend school at the masjid, I got to take a long nap while Hubbie picked up dinner from our favorite Kebab place, Red Chili. Wish everyday could be Mother’s day.
Update just linked this up to 5 minutes for Mom.
1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3.My mother taught me : TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me: IRONY
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.”
9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me: WEATHER .
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me: ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19.My mother taught me: ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
“I swear you’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me: WISDOM ..
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
I have become my Ammi! I love you mumzi and don’t mean any disrespect. May Allah grant you Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen