Right in the middle of the masjid, my little lovely takes his thobe (long shirt) that his Aunti just bought back from Medina, and shows his Pull ups for all the world to see. Mortified I look around- all the older women have that ‘look’ on their faces. She gives parenting advice- ‘look at her kid’.
Do all moms forget what it was like when their kids were two? Hope that’s not me in a couple of years-Even though its embarrassing, I know I will miss these days when he is all grown. I already do with the other 3.
He refused to put it down and laughed… he laughed every time I asked him to pull it down. He wants to wear his dino outfit everywhere. During winter it was fine, its made of flannel-like material but it’s getting hot in CA now.
We were out at the Sonora Desert Park in Arizona, one of the guide said ‘hey no dragons allowed in the park’ he was so offended, ‘I am dinosaur! ‘LF#3 says,”Oh God! he is embarrassing me” she has obviously forgotten her obsession with a certain hot pink & black dress.
Your life now according to babycenter.com:
You used to be able to dress your child in the adorable items of your choosing, and so long as she didn’t decide to strip naked, that was that. Now she seems to have opinions about everything she wears: This shirt is too “scratchy,” or “I want my blue top (again).” A budding fashionista? No, just a typical preschooler exerting her independence.
Try not to get hung up on what she looks like. Unless she’s being formally photographed, it really isn’t worth a power struggle. One tricky situation is refusing to wear a coat in the cold. Instead of insisting, try giving her a little face-saving space: “Okay, I’ll just bring it along in case.”
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A group of young Muslim moms in our area set up a mommy group. It’s more discussion based than lecture based, so we learn from each other. I was asked to lead the discussions-Alhamdulillah. So I thought we would start with something I am working on personally- ANGER. Especially anger directed at our children, that leaves us exhausted after screaming and our children scared or ambivalent.
These were my points:
All of us get angry- sometime its justified and sometimes we take it out on the wrong person- most often the people we love the most.
We need to reserve our anger for situations when our kids are really in the wrong.
Remember they are little, they are learning- I try to visualize when I will be old and incompetent, how would I like my kids to take care of me – would I like them to scream at me if I wasn’t able to take care of myself.
If we are angry all the time then our kids will switch us off and our angry words will lose their value.
Shaytan runs through our veins we get hot, our blood pressure rises-
Learn to recognize the warning signs- I start clenching my teeth.
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) said: “Verily, anger is a spark ignited by the Shaitan (Satan) in the human heart. Indeed, when anyone of you gets angry, his eyes become red, the veins of his neck become swollen and Shaitan (Satan) enters them. Therefore, whosoever among you is concerned about himself on account of it, he should lie down for a while so that the filth of Shaitan (Satan) may be removed from him at the time.The person who is angry should make wudu.”
What should you do when you get angry-(from hadith)
1. Read A’udhobillahhi minash shaytaanirrajeem “ I SEEK ALLAH’S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL”
2. Recite Ayat al Qursi
3. Change positions- if you are standing sit down, if you are sitting, lie down. This slows down your breathing and heart rate, because when we are closer to the Earth since we are made from earth
4. Make wudu or atleast splash some water on your face “The cure is that you extinguish the fire with water so that the evil doesn’t spread.”
6. Drink water
The last circle we had, we discussed Sister Olivia’s article DJ Empty threat. All of us could relate to using the 1-2-3 technique only to have it backfire. First of all, as Muslim moms we should try to minimize the threats. If we do make ‘threats’, then make it solid and unemotional, something that you can and will follow-up with consequences. This is essential for our words to mean anything. Otherwise we are lying- this was a big aha moment for the newer moms.
I always ask my kids to be ‘first time listeners’. 1-2-3 means something in our house because I don’t use it all the time and when we use it, they know that we mean it . But it wasn’t always like that especially with LF#1 and LF#2. I’ll be ‘scream-free’ for days and then lose it, like crazy Mama! With LF#3 and #4, I am much calmer. Chalk it up to experience.
Dua from the Qur’an for Disobedient Children
Wa as lih lee fee dhurriyathee. Innee thub thu ilayka wa innee minal muslimeen 46:15
And (O Allah), be gracious towards me in the matter of my off-spring. And surely, I have returned to you in repentance, and surely, I am of those who surrender (to you)
When our kids are disobedient, we can recite the above dua especially after every Salaah (this is a time when duas are accepted). Keep your child or even students in mind when making the dua.
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Obama issued an order that put Imam Anwar Awlaki on the CIA death list. Whether one agrees with his theology is beside the point. The question is do American citizens leave our rights at the border when we check in our baggage at the airport?
U.S. targeted killing: Putting an American on a CIA hit list – latimes.com.
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Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Allah, charity, dua, Dubai airport, earthquake, Eyjafjallajökull, flights, Gaza, Muslim, sadaqah, Sahih Muslim, travelling, volcanic ash, volcano, weddings on April 22, 2010|
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Chaos theory- a butterfly flaps it’s wings, a volcano erupts in Iceland, ash settles over Europe and I get 5 more days with my baby sister, SubhanAllah. Amazing, how she is in her 20s and she is still my ‘baby’ sis. Her flight was cancelled. It was routed through London.
Her email to her boss tell him why she wouldn’t be at work Monday morning sounded so fake. I couldn’t keep a straight face telling anyone why she didn’t fly out either esp. since she was travelling to Pakistan. ” Umm actually , a volcano erupted in Iceland so she couldn’t fly to Islamabad. ‘ Right…
Eyjafjallajökull-courtesy of Flicker Commons
While I gloated, 2 billion dollars were lost, millions of travelers stranded-at first Europeans reminisced a simpler time without air travel and relished the sounds of nature sans noise pollution.
But then the horror stories of people stranded- away from families, jobs, missing weddings, funerals. Imagine the ones that have run out of money. . .or those with young children. May Allah take them home safely. Mind numbing how helpless we are, yet how arrogant. Allah (SWT) can paralyze this world instantaneously.
Stranded travellers-Arturo Rodriguez/AP
At least she was in my home, she could have been in transit. She left yesterday; she will make it to her best friend’s wedding. Shaadi Mubarak N! Just saw a stranded Slovakian couple getting married in Taiwan on the news, at the airport chapel. Another one exchanged vows at Dubai Airport. No pomp or show- just simple and impromptu.
My cousin just posted this ” Dear Europe, sorry about the cloud of ash over your heads and that you can’t travel anywhere. We feel your pain. Sincerely, Gaza. This is everyday reality for Palestinians. Imagine living like that with no end in sight?
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Posted in Food, Living green, tagged beef, environment, farmers market, grass fed, green deen, halal, islam, LA, Living green, Muslim, OC, pregnancy health, West Coast, zabihah on April 19, 2010|
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As you have probably read before that I am an avid supporter of a whole food, traditional food lifestyle- it is closest to the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (SAW), so I leap at any chance to eat more nourishing food. After my recent visit to the Middle East and Pakistan, I came back and nothing here tasted good. I had a hard time eating anything. Then I realized all the meat that my father handpicks from his neighborhood butcher in Islamabad is grass-fed- the goats roam the valleys searching for grass as do the cows. They are not fed corn or grain. That is not Allah (SWT) met for them to eat.
I asked my butcher “Uncle’ at Asia Spot and at first he was offended, then he bought out the box from his slaughter house, which said grain fed. So I’m satisfied but still hungering for the taste of meat from the old country. As Nourished Kitchen.com says,
Grass-fed, pasture-raised and wild caught animal foods are deeply nourishing. Indeed, for thousands of years prior to the advent of industrial agriculture, these were the only animal foods we knew. The manner in which an animal was raised does make a difference, not only to your health but to the health and vibrancy of your local economy and environment. Grass-fed beef and red meat is a richer source of conjugated linoleic acid, omega-3 fatty acids, beta carotene and retinol than the meat of conventionally raised animals. Moreover, grass- and pasture-based ranching provides environmental benefits as well – nurturing the local fields, improving the diversity and proliferation of native flora and fauna.
I started researching grass fed options- so I looked in to greenzabihah.com. They are based in Virginia so are a great source for East Coasters. But shipping here wasn’t cost effective, so you ask Allah and viola- a local option for So Cal.
Zabihah Grass Fed Beef is now available at Farmers Markets in OC and LA. Frank (the rancher) is at Farmers Market selling Halal Grass Fed Beef. He will start some time in mid April… if you need further information about this you can visit him at any of the farmers markets listed below..starting the week of April 12th. The plant does not handle pork. Frank is not doing the slaughtering. His cows are slaughtered by Paradise Ranch where Muslims do the slaughtering and packaging.
The prices are different depending on what you want. There are halal/zabihah labels on the meat as well.
You can get it at the following four Farmers market locations:
San Juan Capistrano- Wed 3-7pm
Laguna Hills Farmers Market- Friday 9-1 pm
Irvine UCI Farmers Market-Saturdays 8-12 pm
Beverly Hills- Sundays 9-1 pm
Northern Californian have a great resource at Nature’s Bounty All Halal Farm in Vacaville, CA.
On a side note-NRDC estimates that if all Americans eliminated just one-quarter pound serving of beef per week, the reduction in global warming gas emissions would be equivalent to taking four to six million cars off the road. Meatless Mondays anyone?
OK, this is the kind of boring part, but for those of you who are interested in your health or the health of your children, it may be compelling. Many studies have been done on the impact of eating meat from grass-fed vs. grain fed beef.
For expectant mothers and their babies:
Doctors indicate that Omega-3 fatty acids are a vital nutritional contributor to enhanced pregnancy health.
Omega-3 fatty acids play a key part in pregnancy health, and in the healthy development of babies in the womb. The benefits of Omega-3 fatty acids are clear. To summarize recent research conclusions, Omega-3s:
Offer critical nutrients for babies’ neurological development.
Promote the development of the fetus’s cardiac and respiratory systems.
Support the development of the fetus’s brain and eyes (development of visual centers).
Have been shown to increase the learning and cognitive functions of children, with effects measurable to age four.
Increase the attention spans of young children (a measurable component of intelligence early in life).
Support the pregnancy health of the mother, possibly reducing chances of toxemia (or pre-eclampsia).
May help prevent pre-term labor and premature delivery.
Studies have shown that babies are more likely to put food in their mouths when they see a parent eat it, and toddlers, preschoolers and elementary school kids are more likely to accept foods their parents like. Food preferences are initially formed in the womb and through their mother’s milk as well.
For those of us between 10 and 100:
Some of grass-fed beef’s benefits, in comparison with the grain-fed version, are:
500% more CLA (Conjugated linoleic acids)
400% more Vitamin A
300% more Vitamin E
75% more Omega-3 fatty acid
78% more Beta-Carotene
Eleven out of eleven studies to date have found that CLA decreases cancer
Four out of five have found a decrease in body fat.
Two out of two have found decreases in heart disease.
Six out of six have found increased immunity to disease. Two out of two have found increased bone density. And three out of three have found a decrease in adult diabetes. While artificial CLA is now available in a pill form, natural CLA from animal products is 600% more effective in fighting cancer.
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