Hate the sin not the sinner
June 1, 2010 by Hena Zuberi
I have landed myself in a quagmire. Last week I opened Facebook to a ton of congratulatory updates on a young woman from Michigan winning Ms. USA. Someone forwarded a post by a and then I hopped from site to site and found so much more cheering, When I read the Muslim references to her win in Muslim media, I felt sincere anger, so I wrote this and sent it to Muslim Matters. I don’t have a long history with any sites or forums, it was purely a reader’s reaction and a call for help, for people to think about the effect it has on our kids. If they hadn’t printed it, I would have sent it somewhere else. Thanks for giving me a voice.
Somehow I ended up on this brother’s blog amidst a fallout ? I don’t know of the history behind blog groupings, haven’t been around long enough. I just started this blog in February hoping to meet a few good Muslimahs. Lets just say the last week has been absolutely horrible. I did not realize what I was getting into. I jumped in without floaties into the deep blue sea. Maybe being around babies all day makes you naïve, impulsive and hecka protective.
I left journalism 10 years ago to raise my kids. I was a producer for CNBC Asia. The world has changed since then. I used to do either breaking news or planned assignments. Blogging is a whole new ball game, with instant comments and follow ups, now every word is an attack and can be attacked- I don’t have a thick enough skin YET.
There is so much viciousness, it disturbed me when I was reading some posts around the web. Some do demoralize you instead of giving you a moral boost. I read my post now after getting a peek into this dark side of the blogsphere- I shudder. My article does sound much meaner in spirit than I meant. I still think something needed to be said but in a wiser way.
My intent was not to personally vilify any of the writers. I was harsh in some of my wordings. I realized how it felt when your name is used in negative connotations when I ‘googled myself’- that was an experience!
I am a just a mom in suburbia worried about the world her kids will inherit- not some mega blogger. But what ever good I was saying was swept up in the controversy. Go through my blog, it is as benign a you can imagine. I wasn’t out to become somebody. I did not know the politics or rivalries. My concerns were my kids and the youth I work with.
Why was I so worked up-honestly. Being called judgemental and a hater esp. in the comments really affected me, I couldn’t sleep. Most people didn’t even read the whole thing just judged the article by it title: which was originally, Too much at stake. It is hard to draw that line; we should be able to call a sin a sin without being accused of hating the sinner. However,
Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud)
- so if even one person thinks I was being judgemental then I say Astaghfirullah, may Allah forgive me- I fear Allah that he may me take to account due to my words.
May be I should have reread this before hitting send.
don’t be bitter my friend you’ll regret it soon
hold to your togetherness or surely you’ll scatter don’t walk away gloomy from this garden ~ Rumi
BUT there is always Allah to turn back to-
Come follow me and you will find the way. Your mistakes can also lead you to the Truth. When you ask, the answer will be given ~ Rumi
I ask Allah (SWT) to guide me to use words that uphold the truth but that do not hurt. My sister says just write about positive things Apa. My brother says Khair ki baat karein- talk about good. If my niyyah is to obey Ta’ muroona bil ma’roof, wa tanhawna ‘anil munkar, wa tu’minoona bil-Laah, I need to rememeber Alaa inna awliyaa Allah, la khawfunalayhim wala hum yahzanoon.
Behold, on the Friends of Allah, there is no fear and no grief
Ya Ay-yuhal-latheena ‘aamanut taqul-laaha, wa qooloo qawlan sadeedaa. Yuslih-lakum a’maalakum wa yaghfir lakum thunoobakum, wamay yu-til-laaha warasoolah, faqad faaza fawzan atheemaa.”
O You who believe, – Be aware of Allah, and speak a straightforward word. He will forgive your sins and repair your deeds. And whoever takes Allah and His prophet as a guide, has already achieved a mighty victory.
Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanavi said-
“I consider every current Muslim and every non Muslim, as far as the future is concerned to be superior to me.” This because who knows when in the future they will repent or do something to please Allah, who will love them so much more than me. This is what I truly feel.